well, wherever space music blasts from, I suppose. I don’t want or need to watch ten minutes of various satellites and spaceships floating around as classical music blasts from. You show me a peek of stars, a shuttle, maybe a planet or a dude in an orange jumpsuit, and I got it: we’re in space. For example: I do not need 12,000 establishing shots. The problem is when you put all those shots together. Īnyway, I don’t think anyone’s questioning Kubrick’s ability to set up a shot. Sometimes, it makes me really sad to realize that I will never actually walk up a wall or have a tea party on the ceiling. I like how slowly the space stewardesses move, the bathroom instructions, the grip shoes, the shots of everybody walking up the walls. One of the positive things I can say about 2001: A Space Odyssey is the attention to detail, particularly in zero-gravity scenes. do you ever fast-forward this part? Do you talk through it? Contemplate? Use it for last minute snack time preparations? Also: do you use the Intermission as an actual, you know, bathroom break intermission? Or is this more contemplation time? I’m honestly curious.Ħ. what? Five minutes? Nothing but darkness and classical music for about five minutes, enough time to make you wonder if your TV is working properly.Īnd since I fully expect to get at least one angry commenter who has a thesis prepared on the brilliance of 2001: A Space Odyssey, I have to ask, sincerely. The movie also begins with a black screen that’s probably supposed to signify, like, nothingness or something. Which makes the original First Blood seem positively fucking chatty in comparison.ĥ.

In fact, the first 25 minutes or so of the film and the last 25 minutes or so of the film have no dialogue at all.

And then it ends with about half an hour of the movie still to go.Ĥ. I’m trying to be careful about spoilers, but I feel the need to warn anybody who hasn’t seen this film yet: the storyline you’re expecting to see, you know, with Hal and Dave and whatnot? That whole plot doesn’t even begin until about 55 minutes into the movie. But I do expect a sense of coherency or at the very least some measure of enjoyment from the finished product, and I found both of these things severely lacking here.ģ. I don’t need every story told in a linear fashion, and I don’t always mind an ambiguous ending. In 2001: A Space Odyssey, the story seems almost incidental to the craft of filmmaking, like the actual plot-such as it is-is used as an excuse to string together a lot of random, often beautiful images and pretend you’re watching a narrative instead of a two and a half hour music video. Visuals can be compelling, and I can be moved by or otherwise enjoy them, but I primarily look at film as a medium to tell stories. As a writer, my focus is heavily on story, plot, character, and dialogue. I, on the other hand, do not tend to like avant-garde films. (Note: you may or may not consider 2001: A Space Odyssey to be truly avant-garde, but I don’t think anyone can deny there’s at least an avant-garde influence.) The story is not nearly as important as the medium you’re using to tell it. People who tend to like avant-garde work, I think, are generally more interested in the visuals than in the message. That sounds snotty, but it really does seem to come down to a fundamental viewpoint on filmmaking. Why? Well, generally, I like my movies to make sense. No, I simply cannot imagine ever liking this movie, no matter how many second chances (or third or fifth or twentieth chances) I gave it.Ģ. I will attempt to do justice to the parts of the film that I could see were well done, but. But I really, really, really did not like it. I mean, I guess it’s possible, but I don’t see how. This doesn’t strike me as the kind of movie you can have a middle ground on. The main players of said expedition: Dave, Frank, and HAL-9000, otherwise known as Hal, their handy super computer.Īlso: a bunch of other really weird shit happens, including ape-people and a shitload of colorful lights.ġ. Some people discover a strange black monolith buried on the moon, and an expedition is sent to Jupiter to learn more. I think I want two and half hours of my life back.

Hal 9000 hello dave